There are certain things that have a particular timing, pace or rhythm that is not negotiable… things like sunsets, tides, seasons, and in today’s case, clarity and healing.
I’ve taken some time off from teaching due to an RA flare, and I am feeling much better physically, which I am grateful for. That said… I’m also feeling something else within that is unhealed, unclear, and obstructing the process of getting back to my regular teaching, designing, and volunteering schedule.
In the past, I would have soothed feelings of uncertainty or disquiet with positive thoughts and vigorous exercise, and gotten myself back to “normal”… but this time I am trying something different.
“There’s a revolution that needs to happen and it starts from inside each one of us.”
- Thich Nhat Hahn
In these unprecedented times, maybe the task ahead is to find, create, or embrace a way of life that is less business as usual, and more in tune with your inner consciousness and unavowed dreams.
We are surrounded by uncertainty. I have no idea what lies ahead or how the path will unfold, but I do know that I am not ready to pretend I have answers and jump right back in where I left off.
So, I am going to start the New Year by embracing uncertainty and practicing patience and continuing to take time off through January so as to not rush the inner healing process.
I must trust that the money will flow and my needs will be met while I create the conditions for something new to reveal itself… in it’s own time, on it’s own schedule.
I must acknowledge the fear of creating disappointment and unfulfilled expectations with respect to my clients, friends, and colleagues. That’s probably the most difficult part of this experiment… and something to contemplate!
And I am also compelled to try something new and honor my inner voice guiding me through this time, telling me to pause and go even deeper into my own practice and wait for resolution, clarity and direction.